I am sitting here- reading the two posts below this and beaming with joy!

On June 8th- we found out we were pregnant :) YAHOO! God is amazing. =0)

I couldn't believe it happened so soon- was only 2 months after our wedding but we are both super excited. I am BEYOND excited yet also nervous too.

Vernon says I need to stay off the internet...and I know I do. =P

I think my biggest fear is miscarrying. I read 3-4 places that 1 in 3 women miscarry. =(

How scary is that! and I know at only 5 weeks (TODAY!) I am still far away from being safe but then I just have to breathe and know that God is in control and I am trying very hard to have a textbook pregnancy. I am trying to eat very well and drink only water, milk and juice. I am super excited. I so want this baby!

We told everyone last weekend and everyone else is super excited as well. =0)

Our first appointment is Tuesday morning! YAY even though they are just going to confirm I am pregnant and take some blood work- I am super excited to just know that everything is a-okay and of course schedule my ultrasound/sonogram appointment..=)

not thrilled about my "physical exam" appointment though...=/ I have been debating on whether or now I want to say no to it. I just had one in Feb and everything was fine. I don't want to put myself at a risk of miscarrying or get bad news about my cells and worry for the next 8 months about something I can't control.

Hopefully after 3 years of normal paps- I will still be in the clear! I just do not want to deal with what I dealt with in 2008. It was an emotional rollercoaster that I do not want to ride again and I also do not want to go through paps over and over and colpos every few months. I would rather just wait till after the baby is born but I guess we will see when that time comes...which I feel will be soon!

Dr office said Tuesday will be the first appointment then we will schedule another around 8 weeks and then ultrasound around 12...soo lots of appointments in a short time, but I am very excited! and just want to have a healthy, sweet baby <3

Change is a coming..

This past weekend I was browsing pinterest, yes- I am addicted, and seen this quote.

 "By changing nothing, nothing changes.”

and something just clicked in me. I needed to make a change, or atleast try! 

For a couple months now, I have been thinking about moving schools where I would be closer to home. I've looked at Columbia as well as in Branford and just kept thinking about it how much of a difference leaving my school now would be and chickened out... but on Monday morning, something just MADE me make a choice. 

As I was driving to Live Oak, 33 miles to work I thought to myself- wow, I am really wasting my time, money and car miles- but not really wasting because I love my job, the people I work with and of course my students but I could be using that time spent driving/traveling getting ready for my students, with my husband and time on myself in the morning.

Anyway I could use that time SPENT, it is time that I am safer. It is time I can reflect on myself and my classroom.

but change is a huge step- and if anyone knows me, I am scared of hate change. I like being constant and I like knowing the known...and that is where I am now. I am an emotional mess because I do not know what is next in store for me.

I have put in my transfer and told my principal of my motives. Was given her blessing but then told I was THREE days to late to be automatically transferred and that I would have to interview with the other 8 applicants that applied for the 3 open positions...and this is all I have heard.

"The jobs close on Monday, June 11th- you will get an interview right after that"

I can tell you this, I am confident. I know that I am a very eloquent and articulated speaker/interviewer and I am confident I know my stuff when it comes to education and teaching. I am also apart of the 5% of teachers that hold a master's degree in my district- and probably the only one that is interviewing. I actually believe the majority of the interviewees are future 1st year teachers- so me with 3 years of experience, I have a little bit of an advantage :)

I am just nervous, I guess. Scared of rejection. Scared of not loving that school as much as I love the one I am at. Scared that I will go in and no one will like me.

but I am ready for change. I am ready to be closer to home. I am ready to be NEW.

I found this quote and it fits amazingly perfect to what I am feeling right at this moment.

 

Pray for me.

Pray that I get what my heart desires <3

Gettin' personal...

It's time to get personal.
really personal and only because one day when I am where I wanna be right now (or maybe I will never be) I wanna be able to see what was feeling at this moment.

My worst fear (besides losing my family and people I love) is not being able to have a baby, actually just the inablity of getting pregnant. I can honestly sadly say that I have lost alot of sleep, tears and have been stressed over that fear.

so yes, here I am now, emotionally drained because trying to have a baby is TOUGH! or atleast I am making it that way.

We have only been married for two months and actually just began starting to try to get pregnant...but with all the lingo --fertility, ovulation, mid-cycle, HPT- my head is spinning and my heart is heavy.

I went off birth control after being on it for 7 years (gulp) 2 weeks after we were married. First month passed and not pregnant- so now this week I am in my "ovulation" week....and I can tell ya, it's stressing me out. I seriously just want to be pregnant but I know I need to just LET GO AND LET GOD!

 

I am totally livin' the life I love...

As I was killing myself running stadiums  with my sister in law today we got on the topic of "if we could go back to high school, knowing what we know now, would we?" We began chatting and talking about all the amazing times we had in high school (separately of course- I was graduating with my bachelors when she was graduating high school--she's a youngin'). We started talking about what we would do different and the choices we made then that we would definitely not make today.

I reminisced. I thought about all the choices I made in high school and after mostly after high school. I thought about what I WOULD do different, the people- the places-the things I did then thought, wait! all of the choices I did make in these past 9 years (eek!) have brought me to where I am today and let me tell ya, I could not be more happier, more satisfied, more aware of knowing I am suppose to be where I am in this moment of my life.


I am totally livin' the life I am in love with....

of course I could have/make more money, be more in shape, have a better attidue about life somedays, have a baby in my belly (hehe) but all in all, I could go to heaven tonight and say to Jesus "up to this day, you have given me all I could and have asked for!" and it's the honest truth.

I have an amazing (& gorgeous) husband who is my very best(est) friend that I am so head-over-heels in love with. For the past four years (only been married for almost two months) I have grown more and more in love with him and his crazy, silly self! He is the reason I wake up every morning, thank God for everything he has given me and going to give me and start my day living for us.

We have a beautiful home that we purchased in January, and I could not ask for anything more, except someone to come and decorate it. (Forewarning, this will not be a decorating/look how fancy my house is blog).

I have the MOST amazing family. I do not know what I would do without my Momma, Daddy and two younger brothers. They are the glue that keeps me all together, they are who I have worked so hard for in my life and I am so happy I have been able to give them everything they have ever expected from me.

I also have the greatest 2nd family (my in-laws). Without ALL of their support- Mom, Dad, Jessi, Vic and Jake- Vernon and I would have not made it to where we are now. I, We are so immensely blessed for such wonderful people in our lives, who care for us and the choice we make.

I have a job that is makes me smile, laugh, cry, pop Tylenol and want to drink a glass of wine every day! Teaching my little 2nd grade boogers is also what makes my life complete, they are life my own children and I love them all so dearly.

I have also been so fortunate to be blessed with the mind, ability and patience to have a Masters degree in Instructional Design. A goal that I have always had, I finally made come true on April 26, 2012.

&& my dear, amazing friends- I have the greatest group of friends- and though there is only a handful of them (mostly married couples) that I trust with my whole life- they are the best group of people that God could have placed in my life.  They are all so different yet perfect for me. =)

My life is marvelous. I am so deeply and incredibly blessed beyond measures. 

&& looking back, I can say I have faced some difficult tribulations in my life and yet I am so thankful I was able to overcome every single obstacle that was thrown in my way and walk the path that lead me to where I am now....

to a life that I love <3
to the man that I love <3
to the family that  I love <3
to the students that I love <3
to the friends that I love <3
&& last but NOT least, actually first to the God above me that I love <3