Gettin' personal...

It's time to get personal.
really personal and only because one day when I am where I wanna be right now (or maybe I will never be) I wanna be able to see what was feeling at this moment.

My worst fear (besides losing my family and people I love) is not being able to have a baby, actually just the inablity of getting pregnant. I can honestly sadly say that I have lost alot of sleep, tears and have been stressed over that fear.

so yes, here I am now, emotionally drained because trying to have a baby is TOUGH! or atleast I am making it that way.

We have only been married for two months and actually just began starting to try to get pregnant...but with all the lingo --fertility, ovulation, mid-cycle, HPT- my head is spinning and my heart is heavy.

I went off birth control after being on it for 7 years (gulp) 2 weeks after we were married. First month passed and not pregnant- so now this week I am in my "ovulation" week....and I can tell ya, it's stressing me out. I seriously just want to be pregnant but I know I need to just LET GO AND LET GOD!